Reject the Corporate Hellscape of Valentine’s Day with 5 Dark Slots
It’s here again! The corporate hellscape version of Valentine’s Day was created by greeting card companies to sell you more junk and make you feel anxious about your relationship. We all know this. We bet you didn’t know, however, that Valentine’s Day has a much darker and much more twisted origin. Yes, this is another batshit crazy creation of the Ancient Romans – I think there was something in the water back then!
Let’s set the scene. From 13 to 15 February, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. Women would line up to be whipped with still-bloody animal hides during the festivities. They believed this rather graphic ritual would make them fertile. There was also a matchmaking lottery that was essentially an arranged three-day Netflix and Chill session. Basically, the festival was three days of sex, alcohol, and violence.
The feast of Lupercalia may be a little far in the opposite direction, but there’s definitely a happy middle ground that doesn’t include whipping… unless that’s your thing, that is! To help you get to a middle ground that excites you, here are five anti-Valentine’s Day slots for you to enjoy.
Explore the dungeon in Taboo
We’re not starting you off easy here. Straight into the BDSM dungeon for you! Remember, though, when you start your chase of that €360,000 whipping, you’d better tell the dominatrix your safe word!
This Taboo slot pain palace is an exploration into the darker side of pleasure. It features animated graphics that can give you an immersive experience. Plus, the Red Room Bonus Round grants you access to a tool chest of all the best pleasure apparatus, from whips to paddles. All you need to do is spin away until you reach your climactic winning experience!
Head over to the Punk Toilet pub for a piss up
Music is not what it used to be! We remember when you’d go to a disgusting underground club to listen to some guy from work’s roommate’s brother’s band. The beer was warm, and the music was awful, but damn, what a time to be alive!
Punk Toilet slot looks to recapture this nostalgia and serve it back to you in a toilet bowl for a shot at regret and the €333,330 jackpot. In true NoLimit City fashion, this one is packed with a long steady stream of bonus features from Urinal and Glory Door expanding reels to xWays and P!$$ Spins!
Time to Twerk it up on the dance floor
To the window, to the wall! Till the sweat drips down my… you know the rest! This one is wall-to-wall asses, and they’re ready to Twerk all over the dance floor as you chase that €307,500 icebreaker.
Twerk slot is a twisted bit of exploitation and a treat to the eyes. Plus, if you manage to grab three or more scatter symbols, you’ll unlock a round of free spins with the battle feature, giving you a chance to see those asses in action! The more battles your big-bottomed babe manages to slay, the bigger your wins will be!
Does that hangover make you feel Braindead?
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Five tequila, six tequila, wait, what happened to four?! Ten tequila, eleven tequila, twelve tequila, is that Mexico?! twenty-four tequila, twenty-five tequila twenty-six tequila, I think I need a hospital!
We’ve all been on that ride. When you wake up, you feel like someone has shoved a rusty spoon in your ear, and you’re not entirely sure where you are. Don’t worry – you’re not Braindead. But you should probably check your kidneys are still there before chasing the €262,500 jackpot.
Now, we’re not saying that the zombie apocalypse in Braindead slot started after a bathroom kidney removal went wrong but who knows at this point. What we do know is that this slot will have you fighting for a chance to throw the dice and scavenge what you need as the zombie horde marches towards you.
Tombstone RIP: I guess you are braindead?
Well, shit! You’ve booked your last ticket, and you’re on your way to the hot place. Just remember that all the rock stars and hookers are in hell, and all the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses are in heaven – we know where we’d rather be.
When you get to the gates of Tombstone RIP slot, your entrance will be conditional. You’ll have to answer a question, and if the dark lord likes your answer, he’ll grant you access to the city of the damned! Once you’re in, you’ll be greeted by the wondrous selection of dark tortuous bonuses that could only come from NoLimit City as you chase that €360,000 jackpot. The slot features xNudge Wilds, Hang’em High free spins, and the El Gordo’s Revenge bonus that gives you a shot at a 300,000x multiplier!
If this list of debaucherous slots hasn’t tickled your fancy, head over to BitStarz homepage and explore our curated list of Anti-Valentine’s Day slots – spend this hallmark day spinning away at your peril!