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Swear Off the Day of Love with 5 Anti-Valentine’s Day Slots
So, Valentine’s Day again. Love, chocolates, and over-priced roses – what’s not to hate? How did we get here?!
The origins of Valentine’s Day are actually far more interesting. Its origins date back to Ancient Rome and the feast of Lupercalia. From 13 to 15 February, women would line up to be whipped with bloody animal hides. Apparently, this would make the woman fertile. There would then be alcohol, sex, and probably a fair amount of violence. Sounds like the origins of BDSM if you ask me.
Join me down a well-lubricated hole of hedonism with these five Anti-Valentine’s Day slots.
Enter the dungeon
Taboo slot from Endorphina feels like a far more accurate representation of the real Valentine’s Day. The BDSM-themed slot (fitting) was released at a time when this type of content would have raised some serious eyebrows. Today, however, Nolimit City has redefined what taboo is when it comes to slot game themes.
Taboo slot offers an interesting chase to a €360,000 climax when you’re betting at the max. If you’re not ready to get the full menu, however, the slot still has more than enough to keep you entertained. The Red Room Bonus Round is where most of the excitement takes place granting you access to a toy chest with all the things that straddle the line between pleasure and pain.
Let’s get a little naughty
If the BDSM dungeons of Taboo slot aren’t for you, the Naughty Girls Cabaret slot might just be. The slot has the old-school class that was lost when internet porn became a thing. The slot gives you a shot to enjoy the good old days when the mere sight of exposed shoulders was enough to get most men to stand at attention.
Really, my only complaint about this slot is that the beautifully illustrated cabaret girl symbols are so tiny that I have to squint to enjoy them. Even the numbered symbols are strangely sexy. I’m not saying I could get aroused by the sight of a 10, but this one sure did give it a good old try. The bonus game gives you a one of one session with one of the dancers that I won’t spoil for you.
Grab a beer and join the piss up
Do you remember that terrible bar with the best memories? Well, Punk Toilet slot from Nolimit City is here to give you a double shot of nostalgia. What can I say about this one? It’s frankly a little disgusting but in the best way, if you know what I mean. It’s like that club from your teens that was so dirty that your feet stuck to the ground when you danced… just me?
Embrace the drunken revelry of the real origins of Valentine’s Day with the Punk Toilet slot. It offers a shockingly? large €333,330 jackpot and the endless number of bonus features that have come to define Nolimit slots. The slot does, however, come with extreme volatility, which is kind of on-brand for this list.
A walk of shame to end the night
Yes, even men have to do the walk of shame sometimes – especially when a severe case of beer goggles wears off and chewing off your own arm to get away before she wakes up isn’t an option. Yes, yes, it’s another Nolimit City slot and this one has dark sunglasses and hair of the dog written all over it.
Walk of Shame slot is everything you would expect it to be. Some great graphics of some disturbing sites and all the bonus features of an all-nighter with a lady of the night. I’m just glad I can’t smell this one, I can only imagine. You’ll also have the chance at grabbing one of the best hangover recipes of all time – the adrenaline shot that you’ll get when you score the €392,880 max win! Just imagine the debauchery you could buy with that. The slot also has a 96% RTP rating. The real meaning behind this one… I’ll just say, IYKYK.
Embrace the violence
If you were attending a party in Ancient Rome, I think there would be a fair expectation that someone was going to get killed. Well, to honor that likely occurrence, I give you the final slot of this Anti-Valentine’s Day list. And yes, it is another Nolimit City slot – I really could have made this whole list out of their slots.
Tombstone RIP slot has an Old West theme that does away with all the honor and goes straight to violence and graphic death. Before Mental and some of the provider’s newest slots, this one was about as close to the line as you could get. The different graphics that appear as a win gets larger and larger are particularly disturbing. It always surprises me how much they’re allowed to get away with. If you’re in for that sort of thing, though, you get the chance to go after the staggeringly large 300,000x multiplier!
Now that you’ve seen your path to break free of the corporate hellscape that is the modern Valentine’s Day, head over to BitStarz and explore the rest of our curated Anti-Valentine’s Day list of slots.